I'll start with the most recent and most tangible synchronicity I've had this month. This came with my new gnome home that Matt had made for me. I was looking for a way to display this beautiful work of art. I wanted it to be seen, but I wanted it to be safe. So Matt and I decided to get a shelf for it. We both kept procrastinating, though. We finally went to Menards and found a board that I would stain and we would brace it to the wall so the gnome home could sit safely. I stained the wood and then Matt began to second guess if this was the best way to display the gnome home. When we went to hang it up, we couldn't find a stud to hang it securely. This solidified Matt's assertion that hanging was not the best idea. We needed a stand. I was growing frustrated. I wanted it displayed. I was feeling hurried and impatient.
So I procrastinated more. I couldn't really find a stand that worked. Finally I decided we just needed to go to Pier One--just for a quick look. To get some ideas.
There is was. The perfect stand. I walked around and suddenly I saw it. The stand is metal with a glass top. It has three thin metal legs. The legs were fashioned into tree branches with metal leaves and a metal bird perched on one of the branches. It was perfect. Matt was not sure it would be secure enough with the three-legged set up. But I knew I wanted it. Then he thought about it and realized that the round wood I had stained would be a perfect platform for the stand. He could place braces on it and secure the stand to the wood, so it would sit securely. I found this a synchronistic moment in which patience payed off in the form of a beautiful and perfect moment of collaboration. Defiance-Veiled Prophet-Family
My family research has been heavily concentrated on my maternal side. For good reason. My mother's side has been the one with the greatest support and influence. My maternal grandparents were almost like a second set of parents. I lived with them off and on over the time I was growing up. They were there when I really needed them. They came to my graduations and would visit me often when I moved away from California. As I often call them, they were the grounding posts of what I considered my family. This isn't to say that my paternal family is unimportant. They are very important. And synchronicity reminded me of that.
About a month ago I stopped by Matt's house and he was watching a television show called Defiance. A futuristic show on the SyFy network. When he told me the title, I paused and said, "that's the name of the town where I lived. It's where the farmhouse of my childhood was located." He went on to tell me it was a post-apocalypse show that's set in St. Louis. I started watching and the Arch factored into many scenes. All I kept saying as I watched was, "whoever created this show has to be familiar with the area to know the town of Defiance." Missouri was not done with me yet, though.
My dad's family are largely from Missouri. St. Louis to be precise. I remember one summer in particular, my maternal grandparents took my sister and I to Knoxville, Tennessee for the World's Fair. I was pretty young, but it was the first time I remember going on a summer vacation. Most of our vacations were moves from the west to the midwest. Back and forth between Missouri and California. This time was different. I'd get to stay in a hotel for the first time I could remember. No camping or sleeping in the back of the truck. An actual hotel. It felt luxurious.
While we were gone, my parents went to the Veiled Prophet Fair. At the time, I knew it as the VP Fair. It was that summer, while we were all gone from the old farmhouse, that somebody attempted to steal my beautiful doberman, Ussay. When we returned from Tennessee, we heard the story of my parents partying at the St. Louis waterfront. Ussay soon returned with a tar scraped face from what I can only guess was him jumping out of a truck to return home. To me, the VP Fair was a crazy Fourth of July party that nearly ended with the loss of my dog.
Then a few weeks ago, Matt and I were watching the show, Masters of Sex. This is a show about Masters and Johnson, early sex researchers. I've been intrigued by the show because it touches on many taboo topics from sexuality to race to gender in the 1950s. Also, it references parts of the St. Louis area that were familiar to my childhood. Forrest Park. University of Missouri. Everything that seemed so big and overwhelming to me as a child. It brought St. Louis back to me. Anyway, this particular episode focused on the Veiled Prophet Fair. Something I hadn't heard referenced since I was a child. A lost memory that started to reemerge as I watched the show and started to understand the deeper history behind this event I only knew as a Fourth of July party that nearly ended with the loss of my dog. From the show, I realized the fair was something altogether different than I knew. So I Googled the fair to see if I could find out more about its history.
I stumbled upon this article in The Atlantic Monthly: http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2014/09/fair-st-louis-and-the-veiled-prophet/379460/
Talk about a wellspring of material. There were so many linkages to the history of Victor, Colorado, that I could finally see how Missouri and Colorado are a tangled history-beyond just the history of me. This could only be called synchronicity. Inspiring further thought. Deeper thought. Opening my eyes to new and exciting journeys.
Meditating-Veins of Gold-Mountains-Creativity
Entering into my reading of Julia Cameron's Veins of Gold, I have been hit over and over again with the metaphor of mountains and mining. The symbolic meaning of mining for gold is more about tapping into the creative spirit in Cameron's book. My creative spirit. Yet, the reality of my journey into creativity is through the literal mountains of my grandmother's childhood. It is interesting to think about how important mountains are to me when I'm currently living in the flattest of flatland. But what that means to me at this moment is that it requires a deeper symbolic journey into the mountains of my life. The mountains holding fire, heat, and incredible resources. Why do people strip mine? To exploit all those beautiful resources. I don't want to exploit. I want to mine to revel in those resources. What became clear is that this deep winter season is very much about diving in. Going deep into those veins, finding the larger source of energy and creative fire. Golden fire.
My recent meditation reminded me of that. I was meditating on Kali. And she didn't hold back. She dragged me deeper into my inner landscape. Pulling me down, down, down. After 20 minutes of meditation, she was still dragging me down. The next day in meditation, my visualization went right back to the downward sailing until I landed on a strange beach. The beach had an organic structure that looked like a large furnace that funneled upward--from where I came. She was building the fire and I walked to be beach and saw an infinite ocean. Water and fire together in this place. And as I stood there taking it all in, I realized how it was the place I have been, but have been too afraid to allow myself to consciously address. I was no longer afraid and I knew this place was exactly where I needed to be. No longer afraid. I know it sounds a bit trippy, but meditation is often a waking dream for me. More vivid than most of my dreams.
And it is in this space that I begin the juncture into deep winter.
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