Quest(ions) and Curiosities

This juncture has been filled with (quest)ions and I struggled throughout to resist my immediate desire to find answers/solutions and, instead, actually hold them and treat them as curiosities. This basically sums up my entire juncture. And it only just became clear to me as I typed them out now. 

But throughout and even a little before the official start of the juncture, I faced (quest)ion after (quest)ion. Each seemed to be trying to get me to stay with the tension. Not try to resolve it. To take that journey of curiosity.  Whether it was in my tight hip, holding and knotting, or in my meditation where I’d find myself hesitating right at the moment I could feel myself move deeper, or in my attempts to immediately resolve any anxiety I felt as challenges in my relationship arose, the place of holding repeatedly presented itself to me.  It has been subtle, but my reactions quite strong, as the (quest)ions kept hitting, something new kept coming to the surface.  And it has been coming in various forms—through my body, my unconsciousness, my emotions. 

As juncture ends today and I settle into the late winter, I do know that I will keep working here. It is as though the juncture stirred up dust and debris hidden in the crevices that I have been digging into. It is all unsettled and transitioning before my eyes into something I can’t sweep back into the cracks. The juncture helped me to see that work. To see what is to come.