Playlist.
45 Songs... 3 hours, 24 minutes. Probably a longer playlist than Julia Cameron had in mind. How could I narrow it down? Why would I want to? As an exercise in clarity, perhaps. So my goal? To narrow down 45 songs to 20 songs. From 3 hours, 24 minutes to approximately 2 hours.
Where do start?
Well, I have...
- 5 Tori Amos songs
- 9 Pearl Jam songs
- 4 Doors songs
- 4 Dan Bern songs
- 4 Bob Dylan songs
- 4 Ani DiFranco songs
...the remaining songs consists of two or less of any single artist.
Clearly I need to eliminate at least one Pearl Jam song. Probably more.
Just Breathe?
...maybe...
I Got Id?
..hmmm...
Yellow Ledbetter?
Definitely not. That is a song that opens the door to too many important memories. Memories of Seattle and Buffalo.
In My Tree?
..perhaps.. It's not as big of a marker in my life.
Alive?
No way. It brings back the start of everything for me. The start of my voice. It symbolizes independence, hope... everything.
Porch?
I just can't. Although it is a song from the same album as "Alive" and so there would be some redundancy in era and the memories it evokes.
Corduroy?
No. No. It's not a song that has the deeper past in my memory, but it is one that wakes me up. It's one I can get lost within
Reviewmirror?
No way. This one is an immediate trigger and takes me to some deeper places that I forget about until I hear this song.
Given to Fly?
I can't do it. It's just an open and liberating song. Something in it takes me out of my body and into the world of imagination.
So what about Tori Amos? I need to eliminate at least one of her songs. Looking them over, I just can't: "Hey Jupiter," "Little Earthquakes," "Upside Down," "Kinda Sorta Fairytale"... "Silent All These Years"?? No. Each of these songs bring me back to the places of transition, growth, coming into my own sense of self.
Right now I've been needing songs that help me tap into voice, transition, growth, openness, darkness, contradiction... The songs are these beautiful contradictions that I need to feel and hear flowing through my body. This is also why I can't get rid of Jenny Lewis' "Head Underwater." It takes me into something newer, yet holds the space for memory. The water metaphor seems important.
What about Bob Dylan? He's unexpectedly on this list. But there is something in his voice in "Idiot Wind" and "Rainy Day Women." I can't let those go. I think I can let go of "Tangled in Blue, but not "Like a Rolling Stone." So, that releases about 17 minutes and 4 songs, including the songs from Pearl Jam. This is not an easy cut.
I am listening to Florence and the Machine. I can't get rid of "The Dog Days are Over." That is such an empowering and awakening song. I can't do it. It takes me back to the summer I first met Matt.
What about the Ani DiFranco songs? I'm not sure how that will happen. All those songs speak to me in such important ways. I can't. "Garden of Simple" is just one of my favorites because it stops me in my tracks. If that song comes on and I'm working, I have to listen completely and then go back to working. And the others are staying. "Gravel" and "Out of Range"? They can't leave the list. I just feel so energized with those songs. And "Both Hands"? I can't not listen carefully to those words. The beat take me off kilter too. I love it.
So Dan Bern is another dominant artist on the list. But those songs are all amazing. They have memories for me. "New American Language" is just the right amount of philosophy and lyricism that I can't eliminate. That is the case with all of his songs. I know "Estelle" is 7:30 minutes, but I love that story. The bond and song about relationship is nothing short of lovely. {"Collette" is too much of a sister song, so Langhorne Slim must stay as well.} "Black Tornado" and "Rolling Away" must also stay.
The Doors probably feel the most out of place, but they are important to the trajectory of my musical love story. The veins of sound running to (or is it from) my heart. But I think I can let go of "Break on Through." The song is the most recognizable and familiar, but it is not one of my favorites. The others must stay, especially "Horse Latitudes." I need that level of darkness, distortion, contradiction.
So, one more song and 2:26 more minutes. That puts me at 5 songs and 19:26 minutes removed. Nowhere close to my goal.
Heart I alway love and is part of the memories of my teens. I remember listening to "Magic Man" in the back of my parents car as a child, but I took that song with me and more vividly remember playing that song loudly in my 1978 Dodge Aspen. Both the car and song were from a decade earlier, but there was something dangerous in that song that I love--and that still draws me in. It was everything I was not, but carried a level of danger that was a part of my daily life back then. But I think I can get rid of "Crazy on You."
One more song and 4:53 minutes.
I don't think I can get rid of Regina Spektor. In fact, I had to refrain from adding even more of her songs. It's her voice and how it engages with the music. I am too attached to those songs to let them go.
What about Suzanne Vega? I think for me, "Luka" is one of those songs I loved for so long and for so many reasons. I can't remove that one. And "Tom's Diner" is another wonderful song. Introspective, playful. Wonderful storytelling. That stays too.
"The Concept" is a great song. It takes me back to the 1990s, summers in Santa Cruz, and the era of mix tapes. There's just too much nostalgia to let go.
Martha Wainwright is just lovely. Her voice. Her songs. I love the contradiction of her sweet voice and the anger. There is something so beautiful about that. Neither of those songs will go--especially since I jus finished listening to "Bleeding All Over You."
Janis Joplin and Bruno Mars. I can't let them go either. The songs may appear uneven, but that seems to work in my veins of sound.
So how close am I to my goal? I'm down 7 songs now and about 24 minutes.
Playlist...
38 songs and about 2 hours and 56 minutes.
